A Hard Lesson in Bad Friends

*FOR THE RECORD : I know this is petty / low / childish / whatever bullshit opinion you have, but I have been taking the high road for SO LONG NOW. . . I may just burst. Out of all the times I could have "put you on blast" (as the kids say) I have refrained; once, just this once, I am letting it out, for myself and for the dearest of dear friends I have who have been treated similarly by a long-time friend. Plus, I deserve to have a LITTLE fun after playing nice for so long. . . don't I !? ;)

I have come to find that it is exceptionally difficult to distinguish the kind of friends who will be forever-friends from the feeder-friends, the kind of friend who will degenerate over time into a friend-using, generosity-abusing, opportunist, who does little more than suck emotional energy from you (along with any love, loose change, or good-will-toward-man you may have to offer).


Friend Quiz : Can you spot the Feeder-friend !?!





How is one to know the difference!?! :P

You can't tell!?! It is nearly impossible until it is too late!?!

I mean, I am a smart girl, but even I cannot figure out the formula for this problem.

For example :

You can go through nearly a whole DECADE of friendship with a person, only to find that after YEARS and YEARS of supporting their life choices - repeatedly lifting them up from low points, catching them when they fall (both literally and figuratively), and nurturing them even to the detriment of your own well-being - they will let you down and completely dismiss the importance of maintaining a deep-rooted friendship.


The hardest part of this lesson is HOW LONG it takes for reality to sink in! How many excuses are made, how much "benefit of the doubt" is given. . .


It takes many, MANY (practically countless) gut-wrenching, tear-jerking, jaw-dropping acts of friendship-abuse before one recognizes such a friend. Sadly, recognition is not enough to pull you out of this destructive-friend cycle. It takes further crimes against honor, decency, loyalty, and the Constitution of the United States of True Friendship before this recognition turns into action, and the disillusionment finally wins you over; at some point, sense convinces your heart to allow you to dissolve the friendship. (Which creates an entirely new form of pain, equally as earth-shattering as the shocking pain of the the crimes that lead to it.)

THE GOOD NEWS : Not all friends are this way, the bulk of my friends are stellar, fantastic, super-star friends. People who have your best interest at heart, never let you down, and repay the kindness you bestow upon them. Thank goodness for the amazing friends I am blessed to have in my life!!!!

In defense of these great friendships, in defense of my own heart, and in honor of the type of friend I am to others, I hereby say :

Good riddance!

To friends who think that domestic and international travel, start-up business plans and monetary schemes, citizenship and blame games, new friends and girlfriends, exploring hobbies and having adventures, getting cooler cars and performing motorcycle maintenance are more important than someone who was once a focal-point in their life!

Fare well!

To false expectations, empty words, unkept promises, selfish motives and being let down over and over again by someone you trust.

I am done!!! :D Hooray!!!

I am not saying this task has been easy, I am not saying the pain and anger are gone, or will soon be, but I am taking a stand against Feeder-friends and against being taken advantage of!
Who is with me!?! ha-ha!! :P

Quiz Answers :

I hope those of you who fit the bill are proud knowing that some where out there is a person who will never again believe what you say, even if it is as simple as "I will speak to you soon." I know you won't, so no worries, the pressure is off : you do not need to say these things to me any more, I know you will not follow through! You are free of me!

(Now, if only I could get my $, my diginity, the fragments of my heart once reserved for you, and my sweatshirt back. . .and if only you could cease to exist in the social networks of my life. . .! lol)

Finally, I hope those of you who have gone through the same thing find the strength within you to keep Feeder-friends from sucking you dry, and please know you will always have a Forever-friend and a ranting partner in me. :D

Peace out! (See, don't we ALL feel much better with that out in the open!?) ;)